Helping Others (and Ourselves) Mourn Well

Anyone who has lived long enough is acquainted with grief – that is, according to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, the “internal response to loss.” Mourning is a whole other experience entirely. Mourning is the outward expression of grief. Few people do this, but the mourner is not really to blame. Sadly, our microwave society does not allow people to take the time to mourn.

By the way, our society consists of us.

We don’t like pain. Not only do we avoid pain for ourselves, but we want the pain of others to go away. We are uncomfortable and unable to sit with the big emotions that naturally go along with loss. We put out messages that convey the mourner should move on. So, the mourner frequently does. At least from the outside. The end result is often prolonged and unresolved grief. I believe we could all  learn to mourn better by allowing others to mourn… and supporting them in that journey. Here are a few ways we can do that:

  • Be careful with words. We are all “guilty” of making missteps when we interact with people who have experienced loss. We minimize the pain and even the relationship between the deceased and the bereaved (When someone says, “I didn’t know the two of you were so close,” the mourner may be thinking either You don’t understand our relationship or It doesn’t matter how close we were, I am hurting over this loss in my life.) We make callous statements without empathy or compassion (When someone says, “You are so blessed to have had her for so long,” the mourner may be thinking: Yes, but I wanted her longer.) We verbalize religious views that are more hurtful than helpful (“God wouldn’t give you more than you can bear,” for example). To correct a few theological flaws: Humans do not become angels. We don’t always know if the deceased is in a better place. God does not “need” anyone. Instead of cliché comments or attempting to over-identify with the mourner (“I know how you feel,” for example), offer words of love and affirmation (“I am so sorry for your loss” or “I am here for you”), and ask questions sensitively (“I would love to hear about your favorite memory if you’d like to share”.) The examples in parentheses are just a few…feel free to add your own “what to say” and “what not to say” in the comment section.

Find the rest at: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/drlaurelshaler/2019/09/helping-others-and-ourselves-mourn-well/

Why Knowing God and Loving Others Go Hand in Hand

Photo with the Bible quote: "The one who does not love does not know God for God is love"

I wish it were true that everyone you find in church will be a loving person. But that would be so far from the truth. Actually, one of the meanest persons I have ever met is a regular churchgoer who claims to know the Lord.

But knowing God and loving others are mutually inclusive. That is, one can’t exist without the other.

So how do we come to know God? It is not an intellectual process. Simply put, we come to know Him through repenting of our sins and believing on His Son.

Of course, anyone can claim to have accepted Christ as her Savior. Anyone can claim to know the Lord. But one thing that separates true believers from those who are not is that true believers walk in love.

This profound difference between the former and the latter is not happenstance. Rather, it is the result of what happens when true believers place their faith in Christ. Through an operation of the Holy Spirit, they become born again.

WHY WE CAN’T SEPARATE KNOWING GOD FROM LOVING OTHERS

Read more at: https://frankking.net/2020/01/why-knowing-god-and-loving-others-go-hand-in-hand/

The Law of Liberty

A Broadcast with R.C. Sproul

Even when Christians come to differing convictions about nonessential matters, we are still to accept one another in love. Today, R.C. Sproul urges us to use our Christian liberty to lift one another up, not push each other down.

Why Knowing God and Loving Others Go Hand in Hand

I wish it were true that everyone you find in church will be a loving person. But that would be so far from the truth. Actually, one of the meanest persons I have ever met is a regular churchgoer who claims to know the Lord.

But knowing God and loving others are mutually inclusive. That is, one can’t exist without the other.

So how do we come to know God? It is not an intellectual process. Simply put, we come to know Him through repenting of our sins and believing on His Son.

Of course, anyone can claim to have accepted Christ as her Savior. Anyone can claim to know the Lord. But one thing that separates true believers from those who are not is that true believers walk in love.

This profound difference between the former and the latter is not happenstance. Rather, it is the result of what happens when true believers place their faith in Christ. Through an operation of the Holy Spirit, they become born again.

WHY WE CAN’T SEPARATE KNOWING GOD FROM LOVING OTHERS

Read the rest at: https://frankking.net/2020/01/why-knowing-god-and-loving-others-go-hand-in-hand/

Family Is So Important

Ray Macdonald

1 Corinthians 12:26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

I’ve been spending some time lately reading (mostly online and on my iPad) and listening to some as well. I’ve read the following: The Bible – some books (like Nick Vujicic’s Unstoppable) – some sports news (as we are in the midst of the basketball season – the Super Bowl is upon us – and Spring training is just around the corner) – and the Facebook entries of some of my friends. One thing I’ve noticed in many of these venues is the importance of family – connections – and teamwork. One of my Facebook friends puts pictures and posts up – almost hourly it seems – thanking God for their children – their spouse – and where they work. I believe that our family and close friends impact our lives – for the better or for the worst.

The rest is at: https://raymcdonald.wordpress.com/2020/01/27/family-is-so-important/

8 Ways To Help Depressed Christians

 

Many of us struggle with what to do when someone we know is depressed. We want to help but fear, confusion, or misunderstanding holds us back. So, let me suggest eight guidelines for helping depressed people.

 

Go to: https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/8-ways-to-help-depressed-christians

If You Go to Church to Be Ministered to You’re Missing the Point

Are you going to church just to be ministered to? Church hopping, church skipping and church judging is all too common these days. It seems that many people are struggling to find the “right” church with the “right” pastor who has the “right preaching style.” Maybe you struggle with this in a less overt way. Perhaps you go to church and feel bored or disillusioned. Or maybe going to church is just a part of your Sunday routine that you don’t think about when Monday comes along.

Be challenged by the rest: https://churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/324710-if-you-go-to-church-to-be-ministered-to-youre-missing-the-point.html