~ When Familiar Beats Good, Ed Welch shares a quote that will rip your heart out:I read an absolutely heartbreaking article this week. In his article,
I’ve never been well or happy for a long period of time. So when I do feel like I am doing well, I’m afraid because it’s not a feeling I’m familiar with and it scares me. When I do become clean, I’ve got to become a new person because I’ve been this other person for so long.
That quote is from a woman who lives under a bridge with other junkies. She’s a grandmother of six, addicted to heroin. That quote really gets to me because as a pastor I’ve seen something similar play out before my eyes. I’ve watched as people make decisions from a position of enslavement. It’s heartbreaking. And if I’m being honest, it breaks my heart because I sometimes see this very thing in my own life.
If you know me at all—and you might even pick it up in my writing—I have a tendency to see the dark side of things. Charles Bridges has said, “occasions always present themselves for the display of an unhappy temper.” Bridges is talking about the person who is always fighting and quarreling and being angry. That’s not so much my struggle. My struggle is with depression and negativity. I don’t look at things with hopeful eyes, I call it realism but it’s probably better labeled cynicism.